Actually u r tougher than anyone in the family

Now i realize that many thing not as true as I was thinking.
I also thinking that u are weak, so weak, and sometimes really feel upset to u.
By the way, i'm wrong. I was easily quoted since i not involve in the situation.
Now i feel guilty, as comparison, I worst than u, not even your little commitment.
U are so brave , so tough, so bravo.
U can accept the unwillingness without grumbling, u can bear with the unfairness without giving up.
Compare to me, i do nothing, i know only grumbling and feel scare to face it.
There were worst than feel scare, is no dare.
* the pressure bearing, u are not lesser than me.
* the pain bearing, u are not comfortable than me,
* the relationship conducting, I'm got more choice than u
* the responsibility to carried in the future, I am much lighter than u
* the interesting in the field conducting, It's more favorable for me
* the illness u having, I'm healthy at all
* the commitment on the study task, I'm far away from u.
Then how come i still felt not enough from u, by pointing the finger to others but not look at my own. How stupid it was....
I'm felt kinda guilty,
I'm felt really sorry,
Actually i'm the most useless and invaluable,
Somehow, i always feel arrogant with my little achievement,
I was a shit...
I really admired to u.

I dreamed.....

Today morning, I dreamed.
I dreamed someone who missing always, is it a sign or manifest of something that will happen?
" It's was an evening, she want to go Thailand but with unknown purpose, maybe for travelling or anything....
By the way, she need to buy bus ticket early, hence she need the go to Thailand terminal to book for it.
Coincidental, my cousin want to go Thailand, hence she would like to take a ride on cousin's car to get to the destination.
She was waiting for the arrival of cousin at bus stop with elder sister. I was worried it is ok to left her there for waiting, actually she fined, nothing illness and unconfortable.
I was just worrying and insist to wait with her.
Night becoming late, the cousin who allways not on time done his responsibility to not on time,
we was tiring waiting and suddenly its raining,
within the small bus stop, i quickly seize her to come in, prevent from getting wet.
In my feeling, I was mostly worried at all, will she accidently knocked down by others? Will she get into trouble if she go alone? Will she face difficulty when finding the bus ticket at Thailand terminal? Will she feel suffer after long walking? Will she tired?
Finally, cousin come with motorcycle, their face seem to be so enjoying, even though there are not enough seat to take on ride, they was enjoying running and follow cousin to car park to take their car...
Funny, haha, seem that she was so happy and can be running, is she really ok? will she get fatigue?
It still raining, dun get cold, inside my heart shoutout...
She was wearing a pink colour big jacket, very sharp and beautiful hairstyle, and very beautiful girl and happy..., and i was happy to see her happy and far from my sight"

haha.. Dream is ridiculous,
That my dreaming, does this indicate something? I could not read through...
Mysterios...