I felt a big failure within myself.
I had failed to live with more exciting and energetic life, but the way, i was more tend to reverse.
I can't control myself, very upset and disappointed with the things lately done.
I failed to take care myself in good condition, I was failed in follow her advised.
I had a bad sleeping recently,
even my eyes feel so tired,
my face begin to felt numb,
and whole my body is to ache,
starting from backbone.
I lie on my bed, with my eyes close, hours by hours, i still in alert mode.
I'm so upset with my performance, feeling very down with this result,
starting to scared the effect if this situation continue, fear and frightened.
Not because of low visible night, but fear that can't enjoy the night.
Mind unstopped thinking on the dearest parent, how sad are they if they know i suffer from this.
Nervours tears nearly wetting my pillow, feeling how pity am i and those who always caring on me.
Great failure in managing myself made me felt more tension.
Mind, can u keep me on normal, i dun this to appear on me.
Really i scare that i will follow the path, in case not to reach parent who know the path, it is much important to keep secret and settle myself.
But who can i get helping hands?
Who can be my benefactor which want to give me an helping hand?
So happy that get feedback from concerning, but tension in carried is much greater,
who want step beside me and give me a push?
Or is me too sensitive, and hence a lot of unwanted tension developed,
There are something more terrible,
but really i felt someone always there for me, a good listener, have no weird to soliloquize.
I must settle down all this, give me a break please, how was the break is?
Some say it not good to say, should not be say, just would like to be decadent....
I'm sorry,
believe i will be good not follow you,
I was not happy at all that you be the example with great sacrifice,
I must be not let u on heart,
I thought i'll be better,
I'll try to get back again
I'm sorry i fail...
